I’ll update when I’m good and ready. Hopefully moving into a new place on the first. Yes, I kinda sing and dance for a living right now. No, I don’t have time to go on an emo rant regarding exes or whatever.
I’m alive. That should be all you need to know for now.
Love and peace.
Sometimes I just want to run the hell away. They say you can’t outrace your past, but still I would like to try.
The yellow sun,
Well it took the hand,
Of a country boy,
To a city in a far off land.
We made no mark,
No shadow at all,
On the ancient holy streets,
Where I learned to crawl.
Looking at the bruised,
The young and the used,
The sure and confused all here
Birds will land on me,
Then abandon me,
Mangle, untangle me,
Leave me on the floor
Rhymes they sprang in me,
Summer sang in me,
But summer sings in me no more.
Now I’m 25,
I’m trying to stay alive,
In a corner of the world,
With no clear enemies to fight.
It’s hot as hell,
We’re like butter on toast
But there’s no army in this world,
That can fight a ghost.
Looking at the bruised,
The young and the used,
The sure and confused all here
Birds will land on me,
Then abandon me,
Leave me stranded,
[..] on the door.
Rhymes began in me,
Summer sang in me,
But summer sings in me no more.
Oooh
[spoken words]
At 21,
I was born a son,
And on that day I knew,
I could kill.
To protect the ones,
Who put bullets in guns,
Or anything it takes,
To take a life.
In light of mucha dramaco going on, I’ll put out another U2 track from No Line on the Horizon. At least when whomever is screaming at me for writing this or not writing that, I can slap on some headphones and get lost in a great new album. Actually, the song is right above.
Work did go great, I am really going to like this job. Not sure how well I can dance and sing, but in some ways, I’ve been performing all my life. (Keep those comments nice, prz)
And if the person that did post whatever BS on Rini’s blog happens to read this- Grow the fuck up. I can fight my own battles against whatever enemies you or I might percieve me to have- Rini and I are over. We can be friends. Eventually. Maybe. Probably not if everyone I know wants to wage a damned war on her.
I can hurt her enough by myself just fine.
Yeah, that’s the moral from this week. I had a chat with a friend of mine and went overboard in checking up or making sure things were OK that I drove the person batty with it. I guess I’ve been away from drama for so long that I forgot how to handle it.
Being a guy, I do fall under that wicked motif that I have to fix whatever problems are in front of me. Even if they have nothing to do with me.
I have one day to kinda have a shot at explaining things, but meh. I’m kinda Ok with just letting it go.
Speaking of one day, I start a new job tomorrow. Might cut into the WoW comeback time, but will give me more time to write. The writing comes easy, it’s making an outline of what I want to write about first and making sure I don’t telegraph the entire fucking thing. I haven’t played in a while, but the story is still fresh with me. Go figure.
Writing this a little tipsy. All I can do to keep from drunk dialing people. I’m USUALLY better than that. Usually. Tonight is a good night apparently. Had a blast with some people that have no idea I keep a blog.
Anyhow. Job is off the list of things to do. Going to mise my own phone and place and I don’t know. Might up and move home to the motherland, England. Might track down a U2 date and take a vacation.
God, I’m getting ahead of myself.
Anyhow. Hopefully, I’ll have some more entertaining news to post later and some more off No Line on the Horizon. I still get psyched when I hear more than half the tracks on the album.
-Cheers
Not as much as either you would want to read or I would want to type out. Since leaving the end game raiding world of WoW, I’ve faced a lot of weird concepts. Concepts such as real life. This blog was mostly about playing with Rini, but since that doesn’t happen anymore I think I can open this up to be a little mainstream and actually have most of my friends know that this POS exists.
I am still writing Haly’s and Roland’s story. I will still post it on DeviantArt when the first chapter is done. It’s not as emo as I thought it would be writing it out. I thought I was always too busy playing WoW to write about it, and now that I’ve quit, it’s like I have even less time to write about it. Fictional or otherwise.
I have a lot of friends that play the game on a lot of facets. There is the old gang from my old server. The server before that. Chris on Stormreaver with Jeb and Dan. BJ on Agamor with his top ranked Alliance guild. Christine and Duayne on Zul’jin where the wife is a higher ranked player/guild than the husband. (His mother, also ranked higher than him. REALLY weird having the mom that plays in the same house. I spent a night there, aiming to help him at his comic store the next day and everywhere I went, there was someone playing WoW somewhere with T7 on. That’s the game for you now. Nothing means anything as far as achivements go)
In the spare time, I still play a good deal of poker, but it’s not the main source of income. I go to a lot more parties than I’m used to going. Aiming to get tickets to see Rabbit and the Moon next month. (Yes, there will be pictures) I WISH I could tell you that I have U2 tickets, but no Southeast USA dates yet ; ;
The album was flat out amazing. I’ll save the whole story on that for another time. Magnificent and Breathe however are U2 at their best.
I’m still single. Still obtaining from dating as I get this whole life thing back together. Not as hard as I thought it was going to be and looking back is getting easier and easier to do. Not that I really was one to wallow in self-pity to begin with.
So, anyone that does keep up with this thing, drop me a line or comment away. Would be nice to hear from you.
-Cheers
I am in the process of upgrading and rebooting the website. Still hanging around, still playing WoW randomly on random servers with new names. Still writing stories with Roland and Halcyon (And a much larger cast) Still playing poker. Still jamming to No Line on the Horizon.
My birthday is tomorrow and I wish I could say I would have the blog set up by then. I even have MySpace and Facebook invites going out. A lot more people are going to get to delve into the madness that is Ash as well as re-read the storied past with me and Rini. That should be fun. Most people that know me know how it all went down anyhow. Still breathing and all that.
Although. All I want for my birthday is an email from someone. My birthdays are horrid shit luck so it’s not going to happen, but it would really make my day.
Even thought it already is my day.
-Cheers
I will make this kinda quick and painless. Had a horrible day. Only person I was able to talk to today was Dylan and another person.
And what did I do with the other person? They pushed on some mistake I made years ago, and instead of just saying I was sorry and moving on, I decided to hold my ground and swing back. And I swung for the fences. Needless to say, I might have cost me a good friend of a few years.
Much to whoever’s chagrin, I wished Rini a happy birthday and we had talked for a bit. It was nice, there was no romance or anything of the sorts. She is content with what she has and I am content being alone. I don’t think there is any bitterness, well, before this.
Take it from me. I have a lot of pride, and a big, throbbing, thick, ego- but, it’s ok to admit your mistakes multiple times. Two times, three times. Doesn’t matter. Never do you have the right to just fire back. If a person wants to keep hearing how sorry you are for a mistake, no matter how old the mistake. Suck it up. Say “OK, I fucked up” and move on.
It was about why we broke up so many times. I called her names while we were together (Well, we both did, and I’m not looking to vindicate myself at all), but I had things going on with Samantha and I wouldn’t excise Sam to be with Rini. I felt Sam was a friend and even thought I would openly blast Samantha, I still talked to her occasionally. Sam is happy with a new boyfriend, and Rini is happy with a new boyfriend. I don’t want to trample on any of that. Point is, by not committing to Rini, she eventually lost it over the whole Sam deal. Sam and Rini no doubt hate each other, and the hatred goes beyond me. I just played the coward and tried not to get involved. This was a mistake. But, one I don’t like admitting. I like to claim my high ground spot, but I should just concede that I fucked up. I really did.
I probably cost myself a friend. We didn’t talk all that much to begin with, but still. I hate that I fucked it up. I do lose my temper on occasion and say things I don’t mean, but this wasn’t one of those times. I just felt like I had explained Samantha enough times and that I pushed her away for Rini enough. I should have just admitted I was in the wrong in the past. I couldn’t.
I didn’t want to apologise for what I felt was water under the bridge and instead call my friend everything but a white man.
This is not normal for me. I am not an evil, plotting person. With 90% of the people I know, I can still admit my downfalls well after the actual occurance. This time, I just went off.
I read back what I wrote hours after the fact and I am really ashamed of myself. If the person doesn’t talk to me again, I can’t really blame them. IF they read this, I’m not sure if I would be happy or even more ashamed.
I really, really fucked up. A bigger mistake than the first mistake to begin with. I really should learn to shut my fucking mouth and when someone humbles me, I need to just… remain humble.
The last few months, I have been happier with things. This was the kind of mistake I didn’t think capable of making. I did though. And hopefully, with this fresh in mind, I will really think twice about what I say.
I’m sorry, Rini. I was wrong. I really can’t say it anymore elogent than that.
Every new U2 track has held some part of my life. I remember Beautiful Day coming out not to soon after breaking up with Anna and feeling really down reeling from the loss of being a teenager, Anna, and other things I am not mentioning on a blog. I remember how into the party scene I was with Tabitha when Discotheque debuted. I remember the life starting to get good again in Tallahassee after Stephanie tried to completely destroy my life there and meeting all the new friends. I remember Rini and Windows in the Skies and thinking back on doing the second video to the song with a montage of my life in FFXI at the time.
And now. Get On Your Boots. I haven’t deciphered the lyrics entirely, but it sounds to me like the moral of the song is basically “Fuck all the bullshit, let’s go party and/or have a good time”
I think I got the message loud and clear. Granted, the song is a few months late, I think I already had the message well in hand when I left WoW.
Check the track out for yourself
-Cheers
Get On Your Boots, the first single from U2’s new album No Line On The Horizon, will be released as a digital download on February 15th with a physical format to follow on February 16 through Mercury/Universal.
Produced by Brian Eno, Danny Lanois and Steve Lillywhite, sessions for No Line On The Horizon began in Fez, Morocco, and continued at the band’s Dublin studio, New York’s Platinum Sound Recording Studios, and London’s Olympic Studios.
Released on March 2nd (March 3rd in the US), the album will come in a standard format with 24 page booklet and in digipak format. The digipak includes an extended booklet and the album’s companion film “Linear” by Anton Corbijn. A limited edition 64 page magazine will also be available, featuring the band in conversation with artist Catherine Owens, and new Anton Corbijn photographs. No Line On The Horizon will be released on 180gm vinyl.
The album cover artwork is an image of the sea meeting the sky by Japanese artist and photographer Hiroshi Sugimoto.
Here’s the full track listing:
1. No Line On The Horizon
2. Magnificent
3. Moment of Surrender
4. Unknown Caller
5. I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight
6. Get On Your Boots
7. Stand Up Comedy
8. Fez – Being Born
9. White As Snow
10. Breathe
11. Cedars Of Lebanon
No Line on the Horizon
OMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFG
I’m such a nerd.
-Cheers
between the midnight and the dawning 